When you were a kid, did you ever ask one parent a question and not get the answer you wanted? So you went to the other parent to see if you could get a different answer? Right! We all did that! As you might imagine, it’s a common problem in a cottage with nine or 10 kids all wanting different things.
One cottage parent gets played against the other. Or a case manager or therapist gets pulled into the mix. And frankly, sometimes the adults even have different ideas on how things should be handled as well. So you can see the difficulty there might be to find consistency in one cottage, let alone across all 10 cottages.
The Crossnore School’s Residential Team is led by Jennifer Gonzalez, Director of Residential Life, with her capable Assistant Directors, Stephen Fowler and Adam Jarrell. The team felt it was important to identify a parenting model that could be learned by all direct care staff and which would give that needed consistency for handling disciplinary issues across campus.
They chose the positive parenting solutions offered by Love and Logic.
We were looking for a loving approach that is neither permissive nor punitive. That is what Love and Logic is about. The residential team wants to educate cottage parents, therapists, and case managers how to react to situations, dealing with children/teens, without losing their love and respect.
– Jennifer Gonzalez, Director of Residential Life
Local pediatrician, Dr. Clint Zimmerman, is a Love and Logic trainer who has utilized these concepts in helping parents in his medical practice. The training began this fall with Dr. Zimmerman meeting with each shift once during the month to teach a new Love and Logic strategy. The direct care staff then has the rest of the month to put that strategy in place.
At the next month’s training session, the staff checks in on what has worked and what might need to be tweaked a bit. Cottage parents, therapists, and case managers review together, remind one another of what they’ve learned, and help each other utilize the training.
Learning and implementing Love and Logic parenting techniques will allow all of us to feel more confident and have more success in dealing with power struggles with kids. One of the great things about Love and Logic is that it emphasizes the importance of building a relationship with a child.
– Amanda Smith, Therapist
This campus-wide initiative is bringing all the staff together to find ways of working with our children and teens that are positive and encouraging. It provides a common language with which to interact and helps direct care staff get on the same page. The techniques allow staff to respond in a measured and calm manner so that relationships are not damaged. Children can then learn personal responsibility, self-control, and good decision making skills.
We did not want a parenting model that uses a level or a reward system. We wanted something that would help the children/teens build relationships with the adults, and in turn help the children/teens build good character.
– Jennifer Gonzalez, Director of Residential Life
Love and Logic training will continue for several more months and the Residential Team is excited about its implementation on our campus.
